We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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