I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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