He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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