i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
