You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
