She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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