As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
