i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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