Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
