this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You're like the curious george of whores
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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