as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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