i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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