Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize