we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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