i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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