ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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