tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
