Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
