you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
