you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
