If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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