guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
