Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
