his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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