New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
