So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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