he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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