Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
