I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
