im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
