So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so let's talk penis.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
