i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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