I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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