So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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