Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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