She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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