Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
