Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
