It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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