I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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