I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
