It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
