I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have demons in me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
