so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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