i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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