Can Purell be used as lube?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
