make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
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