note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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