The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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