I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize