There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
