Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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