wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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