fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
