When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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