so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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