My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
