he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
