Dual....:-)
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
