My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
