I'm drive I can fine osifer
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
