I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
